For much of the past week I have been a silent observer of
the "happenings" on this list. I've been sometimes puzzled and sometimes
irritated and sometimes bored, but on reflection, I'm beginning to be interested.
I fascintated a topic of so little consequence generates so many posts to this list.
My curiosity was aroused and quickly died
hmm... not for me. hypotheses, statistics, and analytic detachment bore the shit out of me. i'd rather push the parameters around a tad, dig down, dig up, see what i can see... than gnaw at sawdust..
yes, boredom is the key, as much as no one wants to admit it. a good writer is aprecious thing; art thrives on the net. good pithy, witty flame wars are precious as well. intrepid intelligence is interesting.
I'm not sure what has happened. Frankly, in the past week I've been feeling bored. This makes me sad, and I've been afraid for the future of the project, but I haven't seen a way to grapple with most of the issues which interested me. And I've felt essentially alone in my interests.
I also know that at some points in the course of a group relations conference I've felt bored -- a similar boredom to that I have been experiencing here. The same thing sometimes happens in my therapeutic work. Usually if I just wait, trying to think about what I am experiencing in the context of the process of the group (or individual work) , something will eventually become more clear. I also know that 'boredom' is rarely just that. Most often it turns out to be a self-protective maneuver of some sort, trying to help the individual feel safe enough in the face of some, often unacknowledged or unrecognized, anxiety or discomfort. Here the obvious discomfort is the sense of exposure to strangers who may react in heaven-knows-what- kind-of-way to anything one might say.
One thing to try to be clear about before such a list even starts is why various lists start out with a bang and then fade to dust. I have seen many lists in this last year that were somewhat devoted to this topic fall apart. These include irvc (instiutute for research on virtual culture), IPCT (still somewhat strong), virtpsy, dnet and a few others. Is there some factor related to the level of commitment of particapants that can be determined, and make a difference? Do people just naturaly get bored quicker here that with real life groups?
I was rolling along and suddenly both the banality of my own argument (noise) and the interminable stew it *might* have caused just bored me to tears.
I've come to learn that, for me, feeling bored is a big indicator of something to be looked at, something I'm resisting.
Although I am not very interested in what I perceive as the more intellectualized discussions and I also think there are times when we just go 'off the wall' I hope there can be enough here of sense-making discussion that those who are wanting hints and suggestions will be able to find it. I should think that ought to happen, though I doubt it will be laid out in formal terms. I am certainly willing to "put up with" some periods of boredom while discussions that don't interest me go on. Maybe some of the others can put up with the other side?
I aspire to be boring. A while back I took a test in the local newspaper to determine how exciting a life you have lived. I have maxed out on excitement. Boring sounds fine to me. If it drives people away, I'll live with it.
That we're boring old farts, we must all admit. It wouldn't be hard to sort us out from the exciting people.
Wouldn't it make sense that there are times when the group is not "high energy" confrontational, as some may say, "boring"? Any system can't be high energy all of the time - there are plateau's (time to integrate, regroup, and refocus) before more growth and change happens. Kind of like the Human Sexual Response
Cycle - there is desire, excitement, plateau, orgasm, refractory period, and resolution. Perhaps we're just in a refractory period.
But, to be very frank, much of the time for recent months I've been bored. Like the folks who say they've been standing on the outside looking in, I've been in the middle of the fray and still haven't been able to join in.
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